Oh, wait.
Anyway.
Today was a good day for my ego.
So, even though I don’t strictly HAVE TO go to school during winter break, I usually go in for half a day. I couldn’t afford to go on vacation and I NEEDED to get some work done...I make all of my materials from scratch, so each lesson takes quite a bit of time to put together. And sometimes...sometimes...a student will come see me during lunch to practice English.
I was feeling a little unmotivated today...end of the week slump, I supposed, but I made myself go down to the main office to use the laminator. So, I laminate just about everything I make because I have learned the heard way that my students can be rough on class materials. I know the school secretary probably thinks I am a little nuts...and then I feel bad because she always helps me prepare my materials for laminating (or coating, as they say here), which she does not have to do and then I feel a little guilty.
I got my stuff coated and decided to take the long way back to my classroom. Heading down the Grade 1 corridor I saw half a dozen of my boys out in the hallway on their knees. I know that means they were being naughty and I didn’t want to get them in to any more trouble, but it was too late to change direction. So, I stopped and asked why they were in the hall, where they being bad? They had the grace to look embarrassed and said yes. I told them that made me a little sad. Clever students, because they have recognized that I can’t control my blush reaction, then blurt out, “You are very beautiful.” Of course I laugh and say thank you, but I can feel that my face is a bit flushed.
Without being totally vain, I do feel beautiful here. Not in a just because I look like the majority of people here or because I have a physicality that has been fetishized, but because my students tell me so. Ok, yes, they are teenagers, but Korean standards of beauty are pretty rigid. (Eat Your Kimchi has an in-depth article about Korean beauty standards here: http://www.eatyourkimchi.com/whats-the-ideal-korean-woman/). Now, I’m no fool, I know I don’t fit the ideal so when a student tells me that I am beautiful (and I tend to think that Korean students are more honest than American students, because if an American student said it, I would just be all “yeah, right”) I believe them. Especially days like today when I was feeling a bit blah to begin with.
Skip to the end of the day. I decide to leave a bit early since no one really monitors my comings and goings. Most of the students have left for the day (or so I think), but as I got outside I hear someone call my name. So, at the far end of the building (maybe 40 yards or so away) I see three of my Grade 2 boys waving. (I feel like I need to justify that at this point I only know these are my students because EVERY student at the school is my student.) I get a little closer and I do recognize them, they are some of my favorite students because they are sweet, funny and smart...and not shy…and would occasionally come and visit me in my classroom. I think a normal teacher might consider them naughty students, but I think they are good kids and I like them. Anyway, they waited for me to get to the end of the building and talked and walked with me till the road split. Then they said good bye and told me “be careful of cars.” Really? Come on, that’s sweet that they worry about me.
I should leave school with my students more often.
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