Rainy Days and Mondays...

It's only 10 AM (and Tuesday, but appropriately, it is raining) and I am already dangerously close to dehydration from non-stop crying for the last 2 days.  Out of all of this I am impressed with my ability to be heartbreakingly sad and still laugh.  It's strange.

Today is my last day at my current school, Jincheon High School, and starting tomorrow I will be splitting my time between 3 middle schools in the area.  This is the big reason for my "blogger's block" lately.  For the longest time I knew I HAD to leave and would have to take on multiple schools (and honestly, I am not complaining about the workload), but it was constantly held over my head that I might even be sent out of my current area...which would be ridiculous, since I only have 6 months left on the contract.  This has been a huge source of stress for me and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop before I committed to anything else.

And let's be clear: I DON'T want to leave my current school...I feel like I am leaving the job unfinished.  I feel like I am leaving right when students (particularly Grade 3 students preparing for university interviews, many which are English only...yep, even in Korea) will need me the most.  I am trying to make arrangements to still be available to students who want help interviewing, so we'll have to see how that pans out.  I have worked really hard here...objectively harder than a lot of foreign English teachers do (many on the ones here make comments about me making the job harder that I have to).  Yes, I could take the easy way out, but there is something special about the students here (and shouldn't all teachers feel that way?) and I feel like I owe them my best to help them become their best.

But mostly my issue with leaving this school is that I didn't get a vote.  I feel like I am being forced to leave my home and family.  Because more that the desire to not only be "good" at my job, but the "best" at my job (ok, I'm a little competitive), but I have worked really hard to build a life here with these people as friends and (created) family.

None of this is meant to say that I won't love my new schools, co-workers, or students...hopefully I will come to love them just as much.  It is simply the fact I (and not even my school) was not given a choice...it was simply decided by the higher ups and I am being sent away....and I borderline resent that.  I understand issues about budget and staffing...you come to understand that after a few months in food service...but I just feel like a compromise could have been reached to reasonably satisfy everyone.

As it is, I am getting ready for the next stage in my journey and, with any luck, it will be a good one.