It's an Interesting Theory...

The other day I was presented with the theory that men are afraid of me.  Never mind that the person who came up with this was “three sheets to the wind” drunk when they shared this with me.  I won’t say why men are afraid just yet because I want to marinate on this first part for a bit.

Men are afraid of me.

MEN are afraid of me.

Men ARE afraid of me.

Men are AFRAID of me.

Men are afraid OF me.

Men are afraid of ME.

Ok, no matter where I place the emphasis, the meaning is the same...and it feels a little empowering.  However, as I am not big and scary, I feel that this is just not the case.  So, let’s move on.  Why are they scared?  My philosophical, and now slightly drunk, friend tells me it is because I am so beautiful that it intimidates them and they don’t know how to approach me.  (Let’s also be mindful that we are referring to Korean men in this debate...as that is where this conversation is taking place.)

Well, that’s a nice daydream.

So, I’ve sorta covered this in a previous blog.  I feel beautiful here in Korea because people tell me so...not that I have any delusions that I am any sort of special.  But we are, after all, what people tell us.  That’s the power of language.  Anyway, I feel beautiful here because I am not some exotic fetishization, but because I may actually have some semblance of being physically attractive.  Besides, I think I have a beautiful soul and that shows through.  But at the end of the day, I look in the mirror and know with 100% confidence that I am not bad looking, but average at best.  Let’s face it, I’m no Helen of Troy and my face is not about to launch a thousand ships.

I’ve been in Korea for right at 5 months now (and it is worth noting that I live out in the country), but let’s face facts, men are hardly knocking down my door or blowing up my phone.

So, I will digress a bit.

When I was reading up on the expat life in Korea, I read that expat women need to be aware that Koreans will find them especially beautiful because by Korean standards they are exotic looking.  Especially true for blondes and blue-eyes, but essentially anyone Anglo-looking.  So, sucks to be me…as a Korean-American I won’t be special-looking when I get to Korea.  Or does it?

I say this in the aftermath of the embarrassingly long time it took to have the realization that my boy students were more outgoing and friendly with me at first because I am female.  But, let me emphasize that these are teenage boys...it does not take much.

And there was that one kid that told me that I was beautiful and I look like Audrey Hepburn.

I do not.

But mad props to him for knowing who Audrey Hepburn is.