Still Healing...

It's been a few months.

I'm still recovering from cancer and surgery.  For the most past, I feel pretty good...way better than before, actually.  But sometimes I still get as tired and depressed as I did before and then in turn I get more frustrated because I feel like I should feel better.  It can be vicious.



The biggest problem is because it's not (and wasn't) a "visible" illness people act like its "no big deal."  I mean, I have my slowly fading scar, but because I'm not running out of work every so often from chemo or other treatments...just occasional blood tests and follow-up...they feel like I should be "all better" now.  I'm not..it's a process and for some reason people don't seem to get that.  My body has to adjust to life without half my thyroid.

Slowly fading scar...I tried using Mederma on it, but the instructions said to use it three times a day...who's got time for that?  I'm not terrible self-conscious about it, so it will probably always be a bit of  mark.

Then it doesn't help that, as a teacher, I don't get to heal at my own pace.  If I'm having a "low" day I still have to go to work and do my thing.  There's not really a back-up option for me.  And most days, it's ok...but those low days set me back a couple a days just from being low and then making myself even more exhausted working.

But, nonetheless, I am recovering.  Small things, like even though my hair never got "thin" it is thickening again and, actually, getting darker again.  Or like I didn't notice how "droopy" my right eye had become (monolids are tricky that way), but is now opens wider.  I still struggle with my weight, but that's really my own fault for those days I give into junk food cravings because "hey, I'm a cancer survivor and I deserve it" (ok, yes, sometimes it is a convenient excuse).

But I made it though the second half of the school year and winter camp.  And actually, ended up having a pretty terrific camp session.  I passed all my evaluations with flying colors and am renewed for the upcoming year, and even scored a little raise! :)  And finally, most importantly, made it to my precious vacation (ahem...sleeping) days.